Our next question comes to us from Susan:

My husband and I have a beautiful and intelligent 3 year old daughter from China. We brought her home at 13 months old. Even before we brought her home, the questions from strangers began and has only gotten more frequent, intrusive, and demanding. “Why China? Why not the US? Why do you want one of those babies, you know what they grow up to be like don’t you? What is her nationality? Where are her real parents? Why didn’t they want her? Don’t they kill girls in China? Do they not love their babies in China? Is she one of those foreign babies? Where is she from? Does she speak Chinese or English?” These are just some of the questions I hear on a daily basis. I know there are many people who mean well when they ask questions. I love it when a grandparent comes up to me and whispers “Is she from China?” When I say yes, they tell me their grand child is from China(or another country)also and we talk for a few minutes. I don’t mind when someone asks me what agency we used because they are interested in adoption as well. I will give them my email and our agencies name. I don’t like it when people ask me stupid questions especially in front of my daughter.

So my questions are, do you have any advice on how to handle this especially when my daughter is present? Did this happen to you as a child? How did your parents handle it and do you wish they had handled it differently? A total stranger has no right to any information about my child’s past. My daughter doesn’t even know her history yet so why should I inform a total stranger of anything? They feel like they are entitled to an answer just because they asked. I am committed to doing everything I can to help my daughter. I want to show her how to handle these type situations when she is older and being pressed for information she shouldn’t have been asked for in the first place. Thanks so much for taking my question.