First, let me apologize for the tardiness of this response. In the past month I have moved, started a new job and had my computer break. But…I just got my computer back today, so we’re hopefully back on track (although I still haven’t unpacked all of my stuff!). Anyway, I promise that in the coming weeks things will continue to move forward.

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From people I’ve known it seems that adoptees who have had adopted siblings (or close adopted friends in childhood) have a much different experience growing up. I think being from the same country (or perhaps continent) is definitely beneficial. Not only do you have someone to share feelings of not fitting in with, but there is a common racialization and life history.

I think it’s important to recognize that adoptive parents can only say and do so much. Some things have to come from other adoptees because, face it, there are some things that you can’t claim to understand because you haven’t experienced them personally. And having a person who lives in that same world, who you can bounce thoughts off of early on in life…I don’t have first hand experience with what that’s like, but I imagine that having that sort of ally can only help one development.

That said, each pair of adopted siblings that I know has turned out differently. For one, adopted with a twin sister, adoptee-related things are important, but not a priority. For another, entering into the adoptee community is a priority but his sister has little interest in it. And for a third, both are dedicated members of the adoptee community. So there’s no simple formula, no easy science. But from what I can tell, there are a lot of positives.