Question #7: Juli

This is a tricky issue. Of course, if you maintain a relationship with your child’s birth parent(s), you need to be transparent about it. This creates pressure, on both sides. The birth parent(s) may expect to have a relationship with the child. Conversely, the child may feel pressured to have a relationship with them. Not [...]

Question #7: JoLynn

I see your point and that could be an option, but he may or may not want to ever meet his birth parents.  In any case you would have already done the “leg work” so to speak.  As long as the birth parents knew that it was up to your son to ultimately decide if [...]

Question #7

Another question dealing with birth parent searches:
I have a follow-up question on the birth parent search issue.  I, too,
have been thinking about ways to open our adoption a bit more on
behalf of my 3-year-old son.  I noticed that each respondent said that
the decision of whether or not to have birth family contact should be
up to [...]

Ouestion 3: JoLynn

In my opinion…I believe it should be up to your daughter to ultimately decide on what type of relationship she would like to have with her birth mother. I totally understand that you want to do everything possible in order to facilitate that at some point, but I would apply caution to the degree [...]

Question #3: Juli

This is a tricky question. There are a million factors that make everyone’s situation unique. I think it’s important to remember that the ultimate choice about contact is between your child and her birth mother. Respecting the birth mother’s desires and privacy are of the utmost importance. Small measures, like putting a letter in your [...]

Question 3

Our next question comes to us from Elisabeth:
One question I have is what I/we should be doing a new adoptive parents when it comes to encouraging contact with our daughter’s first mom.  We’re adopting an eleven month old little girl from Seoul this month (we travel in a few weeks), and it’s very important to [...]